Achilles Absent was Achilles Still
by Shinju90
Summary: Tim McGee and Spencer Reid share a drink soon after Gideon leaves. Written for the N. Criminal .I.S Challenge on NFA.


**Title**: Achilles Absent was Achilles Still  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Tim, Spencer Reid  
><strong>Genre<strong>: Drama  
><strong>Rating<strong>: FR7  
><strong>Pairings<strong>: None  
><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
><strong>Challenge<strong>: N.[Criminal].I.S Challenge  
><strong>Crossover<strong>: Criminal Minds  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Tim McGee and Spencer Reid share a drink soon after Gideon leaves.

* * *

><p>"He left a note for me."<p>

Tim's eyes flickered towards his companion briefly before returning to his drink. It sat where the bartender had placed it, untouched. He had met Spencer Reid at FLETC. Being both the youngest and smartest men in the room had made them quick allies. Time spent together afterwards had made them fast friends. Both of their jobs made finding time to spend together difficult, so when Spencer had called asking to go out for drinks Tim had been glad, albeit curious.

"My father left a note for me too, when he left."

Tim winced. His own strained paternal relationship notwithstanding, he did not feel qualified to add anything to this conversation. He had never really known Agent Gideon. They had seen each other a few times at Quantico, but had never exchanged words. He considered sending Garcia a text message. But surely if Spencer had wanted to talk about this with his own team he would have.

On the bar stool next to him Spencer threw back another shot. The empty glass was sat next to three others, each emptied of their mystery contents. His ID and drivers license lay on the bar in front of him where the bartender had requested he leave them. So he didn't have to dig them out of his wallet every time he ordered a drink.

"He said he didn't understand the world anymore, that it confused him. He couldn't trust himself, couldn't believe in himself." Tim had never seen Spencer look so lost, so forlorn. Not even when they both stood of an instructor at FLETC; being told that unless they improved their skill with a firearm and fitness, they would never become agents. "Something awful happened. A man that he had hunted came after him. Frank. He killed someone that Gideon had loved for a long time as well as some of the few people he had managed to save. It got to him. Distracted him through the whole next case and he made a really big mistake."

Tim sighed.

"Your team, the things you guys do, the cases you take are **hard**. Harder than any other team out there. And you work those cases all the time." Spencer looked up from the empty glasses, swaying slightly. Tim had never known him to be much of a drinker. Whatever had been in the shots he had drunk was clearly already affecting him. "I know that if I had to deal with those kind of cases, I would have to transfer or go insane."

Spencer nodded, it wasn't anything he hadn't heard before. Other Agents of the FBI regarded the Agents in the BAU as 'odd' or 'weird'. Some people couldn't understand what drove them do stay there, hunting down the sickest of the sick.

"Agent Gideon was the best-"

"Is."

Tim smiled a little at the correction. Agent Gideon was Spencer's idol, his mentor. Tim knew how that felt.

"Agent Gideon _is_ the best at what he does and he's been at it for a lot longer than any other man could take." Tim paused; condensation was collecting at the bottom of his glass. Tracing a finger through it he drew a line across the bar. "Everyone reaches their breaking point at some point. He must have finally reached his."

Spencer sat silently, shifting the shot glasses around restlessly. It wasn't a very strong argument. more a cliché than anything. Tim knew that. He didn't doubt the genius could find some hole in his reasoning. But he couldn't think much else to say.

"He said that he was sorry." Spencer flipped the glasses upside down, stacking and un-stacking them. "Did you know he recruited me to the BAU? Hand picked me from the whole class at the Academy."

Abandoning the empty glasses Spencer reached over and took Tim's. The drink sloshed over the rim of the glass as he slid it down the bar towards himself. He swallowed it quickly, choking momentarily at the strong taste. Tim wondered what the drink had been. He had asked the bartender to surprise him. Dropping the glass onto of the others Spencer rested his chin on his hand, watching as his fingers traced through the liquid spilled onto the bar.

"I looked up to him. He did so much for me; helped me, encouraged me. I knew he was having a hard time. I thought that maybe, maybe this time I could help him. As soon as we got back from Milwaukee I drove out to his cabin. He had left the letter with his gun and badge on the table. No goodbye to anyone, just that letter."

Together they sat in silence. Tim shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This topic was bringing up feelings long since buried. Memories long since put away, not to be dwelled on. When he finally spoke again Spencer sounded shattered.

"Why did he leave? Couldn't he have resigned and stayed? That way I- we could have still seen him. Known that he was okay. Still talked and played chess sometimes."

"But if he had stayed he would have been drawn back in eventually. Someone would have asked him for advice, for help, and before he'd have known it he would have been back." Of this at least Tim was certain. "He had to take himself completely out of the picture to regain some balance. To be able to trust himself again."

"Do you think he'll ever come back?"

Again Tim sighed.

"I have no idea. I didn't know Agent Gideon, I can't tell you how long it will take him to put himself back together."

Spencer went back to playing with the shot glasses. Tim watched as they caught the light from the bar and the droplets of condensation sparkled.

"Agent _Gibbs_ came back."

Spencer's voice was bitter and accusing. Frowning, Tim wondered how Spencer had gotten to the bar. It would probably be for the best if he crashed at Tim's apartment tonight. The younger man was clearly over the legal limit. Even for a socially inept genius Spencer usually wasn't intentionally rude.

"Gibbs didn't leave because he couldn't trust himself anymore. He left because he was angry and he couldn't trust the people way over his head." Left with more warning than Gideon. He at least had said some sort of goodbye to them. Even if it had been brief and unexpected. "Gibbs wasn't finished yet. Even though he had taken himself out of the picture he kept coming back. There were times we needed him and he came back for us. Eventually he realized that he hadn't been ready to quit yet."

Spencer slumped dejectedly in his chair. Awkwardly Tim reached out, lightly squeezing the other mans shoulder.

"Morgan invited me to go drinking with him. But I told him I just wanted to go home." Tim left his hand in place, waiting for his friend to continue. When no other comment was added he asked.

"Why didn't you go out with him? Why did you call me?"

"Because right now he's angry. I know that he and Garcia and Prentiss and JJ are in a bar somewhere wondering why Gideon left without saying goodbye to them." Unconsciously Spencer leaned into the touch, turning slightly to look Tim in the eye. "I needed an outside point of view to formulate my own opinion. You didn't know Gideon, you aren't biased like they are."

"Did I help any?"

Spencer nodded and again he swayed on his stool. Seeing his friend's eyes begin to droop Tim quickly signaled to the bartender that they were ready to pay for their drinks.

With an arm flung over his shoulder Tim half-carried, half-dragged Spencer towards his car. As they neared it Tim pulled his keys from his pocket, pushing the button to unlock the doors on the remote. As he was being dumped into the passenger seat Spencer stirred. Blinking up at McGee he asked again.

"Do you think he'll come back?"

Pausing, Tim leaned against the open door.

"Do _you_ think he'll come back?"

Spencer shook his head.

"Not while any of us are still in the BAU. He'll never come back so he doesn't get pulled back in."

With that Spencer closed his eyes and within minutes was sleeping. Tim made sure his seat belt was buckled before closing the door and crossing to the driver's side. Once he was behind the wheel he started the car. Checking on his passenger one last time Tim pulled out into the DC traffic.

Spencer was most likely right. Gideon would probably never get back into contact with his former team members while they still worked in the BAU. He knew that was why Gibbs had first come back. Because Ziva had reached him, had told him she needed him. If Spencer ever reached Gideon. Told him that he was in trouble, that he needed help, Tim didn't doubt that the older man would come back.

Tony had done a great job, stepping up as team leader while Gibbs was gone. Tim had had his back the whole time. But Gibbs was _Gibbs_, like Gideon was _Gideon_. And there was no substitute, the absence was felt like a wound.

Tim glanced over again at his friend. Spencer would be hurting for awhile. He would be angry. But eventually he would accept that this was what was best for Gideon. Eventually someone else would probably fill the older mans place on their team. Tim didn't doubt whoever stepped up to fill that position would be worthy, but he wouldn't be accepted at first. Because; like Tony wasn't Gibbs, that person wouldn't be _Gideon_.


End file.
